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centurion rory
xbringbacklovex


Gah. *sobs* MY CHILDHOOD!!!!

Sorry about that.

This is why I love Community. Well, one of the main reasons. This song. It made me cry when I was younger, and I may have had to pause the episode when they started singing it so I could flail. Keep being amazing Community, please.

This is a music post :)
centurion rory
xbringbacklovex
Just picked up a copy of Vices & Virtues today, even though I've had it downloaded for about a week now. It feels a bit nostalgic since I used to be way more into all the FBR bands and haven't really listened to many of them much recently. I really enjoy it though! In my opinion, it's probably not quite as good as Pretty. Odd. and isn't as witty as AFYCSO, but I don't really care. Some of it's a bit more unapologetic pop-y, but it's just so damn enjoyable. My favorite songs are probably Hurricane, Ready to Go, and Nearly Witches (even if it's radically different from what I expected).

While I was at FYE, I also picked up the new Decemberists album. Finally! I need to be better about getting music for bands I like when it comes out. I'm only just finishing listening to it now, but first impressions are super good! It's a lot simpler than some of their stuff. I haven't really listened to the lyrics closely, but it sounds just gorgeous. I'm really enjoying the simple, laid back, folk sound. The song that stood out the most was probably June Hymn.

I'm excited about bands who will hopefully be coming out with new music soon! Jack's Mannequin's gonna be coming out with a new album pretty soon, I think, as are The Academy Is... and fun. I believe. I literally cannot wait for new fun. music. Oh and I Can Make A Mess Like Nobody's Business and Company of Thieves too!

In concert news, I'm going to see Here Come the Mummies on Thursday with the fam. If you haven't heard of them, you should definitely check them out!!! They're a funk band who dress up like mummies and sing mummy-influenced music. It's hilarious and awesome, and they're really, really good too! Here's a video:


It's gonna be awesome!

I am a leaf on the wind. Watch how I soar.
centurion rory
xbringbacklovex
I recently finished watching Firefly for the first time. And while I should have watched this amazingness much, much earlier, I can't really feel too bad based on how amazing it was to watch the brilliance that this show is for the first time. AND IT WAS BRILLIANT. I even put off finishing it for a few days because I was so sad I wasn't going to have any new episodes to watch. Because it is that fantastic. I pretty much fell in love with every single character, and I could probably write an essay on why each and every one of them was amazing. But maybe another time.

Anyways, I watched Serenity for the second time last night, since my mom loves the show too, and she didn't see it the first time. IT WAS NOT EASIER TO BEAR THE SECOND TIME AROUND!!! D':

Cut for Spoilers and my rambling thoughtsCollapse )

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centurion rory
xbringbacklovex

He may be a contestant on American Idol, but Paul McDonald isn't new to music. I'm glad he is on the show, because it's how I found all his music, and it's fantastic!  I think I listened to this song about 30 times today, and I can tell it's going to be one of the ones I go to in the future whenever I'm feeling down.

This is music that I would be a fan of any day. It may be independent and unknown, but hey, there are some wicked unsigned bands (Empires for one). Whatever happens on iTunes, I have this music, and I'm so excited about it.

Not alone, just lonely all of the time
centurion rory
xbringbacklovex
I feel better tonight than I have in a long time.

Last night I admitted to myself that I think I am actually somewhat depressed. Not really badly, I mean I usually deal alright. And I would never cut myself, or become anorexic or bulimic, though that's partially because I'm far too squeamish for that, and I like food. But I do honestly believe this is more than just being lonely and unhappy sometimes.

"People don't talk much about depression, especially the people who are depressed. There's too much shame and feelings of wrongness (why can't I just be normal inside?). Being depressed means that you feel alone. It's hard to reach out. It's hard to even express what you're feeling (or the fact that you can't feel anything). It's hard to voice it, to understand. Your mind, your heart, it feels quicksand inside and you're sinking. You can't call out for help because you can't admit that you feel wrong inside. A divide grows between you and all the normal people around you. It's the isolation that's the worst. It feeds the illness."

This was part of a comment I read on fandom march madness, of all things, about Buffy the Vampire Slayer. I've never watched the show before, but I read the comment and I started crying because this is pretty much exactly how I've felt for a longtime, and have never been able to express it so perfectly. I knew I was unhappy, I knew I was lonely. I didn't realize how deeply it hurt.

On the positive side, today was a big improvement. After crying for about an hour very late last night and talking to some lovely people online, I decided to take a mental health day today, even though I've been sick lately and was home Monday as well. Sometimes, you just gotta do what you need to do. I had a good breakfast and lunch, watched an episode of Firefly, and did some indoor biking. I went for a two-hour bike ride and finally got around to listening to the Mumford and Suns album (which is amazing, btw). I finished a financial aid application for college, and actually did a bit of homework. And I finally sent my "best friend" an email telling her that I miss her, and would really like to talk, but have accepted we're never gonna make this relationship work how I want it to. It feels wonderful to just get outside for a while and neither fret about what needs to be done or just sit around procrastinating.

It's been pretty hard lately. I may not have any particularly good reason to be unhappy, but I am. I think I can do this though.

(no subject)
centurion rory
xbringbacklovex
I'm gonna try and post a review/thoughts/etc post for the first episode of Misfits soon. Too worn out to do that right now. For now, I'm just gonna watch a bit more Miranda and go to bed. Just found this show today, and I already fell in love. The awkwardness and dorkiness I feel like most of us can relate to on some level (yeah, you'll never do most of the things she does, but that doesn't mean you don't want to or think about it. And I love that the main character is someone so different from the average protagonist, yet so unbelievably likable.




If you've never seen it, give it a try. It's all on youtube. I've been laughing out loud so much watching it and it makes me feel so warm and fuzzy.

(no subject)
centurion rory
xbringbacklovex
Haha, I don't even know why I'm so invested in American Idol right now. It's so ridiculous and America is stupid when it comes to music, and I'm probably not going to care about most of these people in a couple months, but I don't care and I love it anyways. It's brought me Adam Lambert, so who knows, more good people might come out of it!
My thoughts on tonightCollapse )

I want a superpower...
centurion rory
xbringbacklovex
So yesterday I stayed home sick from school. I'm massively behind, and should really have worked on schoolwork? Instead, what do I do? I watched Misfits. All 13 episodes. Okay, that's a lie, I had already watched the first two episodes on Sunday.

BUT HOW AMAZING IS THIS SHOW? SO AMAZING!!!!

I pretty much sat and watched it all afternoon. Everyone is so fantastic in it. I love the way their powers fit so well with their personalities. Nathan is a prick, but I love him anyways. And I ADORED his development in the Christmas special. Somehow he grows up without ever losing the immaturity and obnoxiousness that makes him Nathan. Kelly is awesome. Love how she stands up for herself and how much she grows and changes over the show's course. Curtis is so cool. Love how strong his moral compass is, even if he's flawed, even if he's done drugs. He's fiercely loyal and surprisingly sweet sometimes. Simon is a BAMF. He may not seem like it at first, but secret BAMFs are the best kind. Just endure Nathan's teasing for now, hun. You'll come into your own soon.

And Alisha. DAMN Alisha. I don't even know what to say. The show started, and I thought she was GORGEOUS but most of the other characters interested me way more. Than she got her power, and became quite the interesting one. And it was sad, but she didn't really pull me in yet. And then, somewhere along the line, I totally fell in love with her. She sexy as hell, and damn fierce, but she also became such an amazing, enthralling character. The way her relationships with everyone develop, the way her confidence grows, but is always threatened by her power. I love it. Also, her friendship with Kelly is adorable. I'm quite amused that they have the same last name. Oh, and did I mention she's drop dead gorgeous? Because DAMN. It's a pity Antonia Thomas has been in so little else.

But yeah. I think I'm gonna end up rewatching all the episodes. Because only 13? This show, it hooks you, and then only gives you 13 eps in all. Not enough. Probably be watching them a bit deeper and writing up my thoughts here if anyone's interested. And if you haven't watched it, YOU TOTALLY SHOULD!

All the full episodes are on youtube. I can't embed it, but here's the first one: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ccekG6vkjKg

(no subject)
centurion rory
xbringbacklovex
I'm currently writing this from the green room during opening night of my play! As much as I felt unhappy about it before, I'm really glad I'm still in it. It's been a lot of fun and I've met some cool people. It's a small part, which means I'm back here for the majority of the play, but it's a start! ALSO, I got a new dress! It actually fits, it's light purple instead of black, isn't totally shapeless and has a nice v-neck with the whole layered thing going on. Not something I would probably wear in my own life, but it's one of the nicer costume dresses, I've gotten compliments, and it makes me quite happy. Going out after this for my first cast party!

As I've been at practice so much this week, I've been dead tired in class. Fortunately, my Environmental Systems teacher let me sleep in class today. He's a pretty crap teacher, but that was much appreciated. However, in French yesterday, we were using laptops to review for a test, and I was checking my email and a couple other things online. My teacher caught me, took away the laptop, and sent me out into the hall. This was pretty close to the beginning of class. He didn't give me anything to do, so I just sat outside for the rest of the class listening to fun. on my iPod and napping. It was pretty enjoyable, but a bit of a fail on his part as instead of wasting a few minutes, I wasted more than half an hour.

Also, thanks for new friends this week :) It's been really nice to let stuff out on here. I've felt a lot better this week and I think that's a big part of it.

Letting it out a bit...
centurion rory
xbringbacklovex
So Tech Week for our play has started. Everyday this week, we're there from 6-10, so it's a lot. Which means going from complaining about it to friends, to trying to convince my parents that I'm fine and can handle this. I have a really small role, so I spent the first two hours doing mostly nothing as we got our costumes and generally milled around. I spent the next 15 minutes actually acting. I spent about 10 minutes trying to get some homework done, and the rest of the time asleep.

Unfortunately, my time in the play may be cut short as I have band rehearsals on Wednesday this week and next week. This week, apparently, you miss a rehearsal and you're out of the play, and I can probably get out of band so it should be alright. Next week, the play should have already been on for a week, and we're going to be going over problems (Wednesday's the only day we're doing play practice), and there's no way I'm getting out of band as we have a concert the very next night. I emailed the director/organizer to let her know, and I'm still waiting to hear back.

I dunno, I knew from the beginning that it'd be hard with scheduling and all, but I really wanted to do a play, and it seemed like it would be really fun, so I went out for it anyways. It's just been a big mess for me though. In general, everyone in it is awesome, and I love my friends in it, but I'm getting really sick at the attitude the production staff has. They asked for all of our conflicts up till the first week of March back in December when we auditioned, and don't accept anything after that point as excused except for illness and emergency. I understand the importance of people being there and getting everything together, especially since it's such a large cast, but they're so inflexible, completely unwilling to work with me when I'm trying to see if I can miss part of one rehearsal and it's really frustrating. Especially as I do nothing for 90% of the play and spend most of rehearsals doing nothing.

I dunno, in some ways I just want them to cut me so this can all be over. I'd never quit this late into it, but I feel so done with the performance and some of the people.

?

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