My thoughts on Doctor Who and Torchwood
centurion rory
Yay! More television from the Whoniverse! Also, I made a new friend and she came over to watch Doctor Who with me :) And I have another friend (who is also named Allison too!) who watches it, but she's not caught up yet so she didn't watch it with us. Anyways, my thoughts:

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This wasn't my favorite episode. I mean, it's still Doctor Who, so it's better than most anything else I could have been watching, but I didn't enjoy it as much as the last two episodes and I don't think it's one that'll stick out when I think back on this season. It was pretty good though, and certainly gives you a lot to think about. On one hand, I kind of resent the fact that older Amy was erased and she never had the chance to save herself. But on the other hand, when it came down to it, she did save herself. She survived on her own for 36 years, she was a badass, and ultimately, it was her actions and decisions that allowed the younger Amy to make it out alive.

I thought the actual premise of the conflict was interesting too. It is a kindness, I think, what they were trying to do. It's a horrible situation, and horribly depressing to think about, but also kind of beautiful.

This episode also cemented the fact that Amy and Rory are perfect. Ugh so adorable together. And he makes her laugh even after 36 years alone have turned her bitter and she loves him, truly madly loves him. Enough that she'd erase herself. And he loves her. Loves her despite the age, despite her bitterness. I don't think he loved the younger Amy anymore than he loved the older Amy, it just killed him that she had suffered so much. And she named her robot after him <3. Every episode we get further away from that horrible love triangle shit they tried to throw in.

Dark!Doctor too this episode. For all his childlike excitement and grandfatherly kindness, Eleven is much darker than either Nine or Ten. And it's really intiguing. I think he's ultimately good, but he's not human, he's Time Lord, and he makes hard decisions even when sometimes they're not his to make and sometimes the solutions are cruel. I love Eleven, and I love how complicated he is.Read more...Collapse )

And next week there will only be Doctor Who :( Looks like another creepy episode too!

Struggle with myself. WARNING: Gets a bit TMI
centurion rory
I'm in this weird limbo area right now. (Well, when am I not, but that's not the point.) I'm stuck somewhere in the middle of trying to be confident and love myself and come to terms with who I am on one side and being painfully insecure, awkward, and shy on the other. Being around new people is helping somewhat, but it's also frightening. I'm going to a college party tonight. I'm scared, but not because I don't want to go or I feel like it's bad, but because I don't know a lot of people, I've never really partied, and my social anxiety is kicking in. I joined about 15 different clubs, including the GSA type club and a burlesque club (though I'm still deciding if I'm actually going to participate) and I really hope that'll all help. And I'm auditioning for a cappella groups tomorrow, so hopefully that'll go well. I just don't know where to draw my lines, how to find people to hang out with, what to do. I love a lot of the people here, but I still feel desperately alone sometimes.

Mostly, I want to have someone to love and who loves me. Erotic love, romantic love, platonic love. It doesn't really matter, though actually all three would be nice. And there's somewhere else I'm divided. Because I'm a pretty sexual person. I'm interested in a lot, and I think sex sounds like an awesome thing, and I'd really like to have some thanks. But I'm still a virgin, I haven't really done anything, never even been in a relationship. And that combined with my insecurities is bad news. Plus I'm not the hottest girl around. And I'm trying to get in shape, but man, it's hard. Maybe when my bike finally gets fixed...

I want someone to walk around campus with holding hands. I want someone to be able to hug when I'm down and when I'm happy and to just hold me and be close to. I want someone to have filthy, dirty sex with. I want someone to stay up til 3 in the morning talking with. I want someone to do some of the kind of things to me that wouldn't be okay if I didn't tell them they could. I want someone to cuddle with and sleep next to. I want someone to kiss for hours. I want someone that cares about me, that I can call when I freak out or am feeling lonely. Someone I can be honest with, who I can tell my insecurities too who will listen to them, and love me anyways. Someone who will tell me about their day. Someone who thinks I'm beautiful. Someone I can love.

Cause masturbation is great, but it's really not cutting it.

(no subject)
centurion rory
Let me start this off by saying I haven't really been on livejournal that much lately. I haven't been good about posting and I haven't been good about reading and commenting on posts. I'm just generally not that good at being active online. But I've been wanting somewhere to express myself so I'm coming back, and trying to be more active again, but in a bit of a different way. I'm not gonna try to be really good about updates or anything, because I don't know if anyone really cares that much and I'm bad about it anyways. I don't know if I'm gonna post many reviews or whatever, for some of the same reasons. But I'll post my thoughts, because I need somewhere to get them out, and maybe someone will actually read them and care. And if not, oh well. It's my own fucking account, I'll do with it what I want.

Now you want to bridge the gaps, now you want that person back
centurion rory

Everyone should go listen to this song because it's amazing and gorgeous. I heard it first about a year ago when my friend Sammi sent it to me, and I loved it, but it came up on my iPod today, and I started crying because of how true it is for me now. Also, there are a couple different versions, and some better music videos if anyone cares. I picked this one because of the two extra lines in the second verse that make such a difference.

The person who you were has died
You've lost the sparkle in your eyes
You fell for life into it's traps
And now you want to bridge the gaps
Now you want to bridge the gaps
Now you want that person back

This. This is how I feel everyday. The struggle to try and get to me, the better, not depressed me. Who was there before, must be there somewhere still, but there's those gaps that seem impossible to cross.

And all your ammunition's gone
Run out of fuel to carry on
You don't know what you want to do
Cause what you want does not want you
If what you want does not want you
And you've got no pull to get you through

It's difficult for me often not because I feel like a failure for not being able to accomplish my goals, but because I don't have one. I don't know what I want to do with my life, I don't know how to make myself happy or better, what to focus on to improve. And I'm scattered, without a purpose, and yeah, I've got no pull. When I was little, I wanted to be a writer. I wanted to be a teacher, a singer or a musician, a camp counselor. And a lot of times when I do want something, I can't. I'm not good enough, I'm not able to. And that's so hard.

If what you've lost cannot be found
And the weight of the world weighs you down
No longer with the will to fly
You stop to let it pass you by
Don't stop to let it pass you by
You gotta look yourself in the eye

I don't think this needs much explaining for me. It just rings true. I would like to say that I love that it says "no longer with the will to fly" instead of the will to fight. Cause it's not like I've lost the battle. Some days, every moment is a fight. But sometimes, it's not a fight at all, just sad and lonely. I haven't lost the will to fight. I've lost the will to fly, to be happy, to be free, to soar. And that one word difference is so beautiful.

This song. Ugh. Listening to it over and over again while I sob both from sadness and relief. I finally found the one song I connect with. Where I honestly and truly feel I can connect with pretty much all the lyrics and it feels fucking fantastic.

In other news, I have been feeling a bit better lately. I've been trying to get out of the house more, even just to go to Starbucks and buy some DVDs and drive around. It feels good though. And although the spending money is probably not good, I do enjoy that I now have Season 5 of Buffy, Serenity, and Milk. Gonna enjoy those. And I watched all the bonus stuff on Castle Season 1 DVD today. And omg, Jon Huertas and Seamus Dever doing commentary together is almost as awesome and adorable as their characters are together on the show.

And tomorrow my grandma's coming to visit for a few days, and then Thursday I'm going to my college for a new student thing, and I'm excited to meet my roommate in person, along with other people. So far, it's been a good week.

I Can Make a Mess concert
centurion rory
So I'll probably post a more thorough review of tonight tomorrow, including pictures, but let me just say that tonight was so much fun. Seriously, go check out I Can Make a Mess Like Nobody's Business if you haven't heard of them, and if you like them, go check out everything Ace Enders has ever done.

I'm sure any of you that know who he has know he's an amazing person, but let me just reiterate how amazing this man is. I mean, yes, he makes fantastic music and I love it, but more than that, he's just one of the best people I've ever met. He was funny and sweet and adorable, and had fantastic stage banter, and after the show came out and talked to every single person that waited. He signed things, took pictures, and honestly talked to people. He cared what I was saying, not just being nice to fans. Honestly, he's just amazing, and I will always be happy to buy whatever he puts out.

Day of the Moon
centurion rory
Well. This episode was confusing. As soon as one question from last week's episode was answered, another one came up. I think this season is going to be a lot less episodic than previous seasons. Yeah, there's always been an overreaching story arch, but I think it might be more obvious in most of the episodes this season than previous ones, where it never really came in until the end. It certainly seems to have been set up that way so far. In the past five seasons, we've never had this much thrown at us in the first two episodes. It's crazy, and my brain hurts, but I love it.

My thoughts and speculations (got a bit long this time)Collapse )

I hate you. No you don't.
centurion rory
So I didn't get this posted last night because I fell asleep around 6:00 last night. Guess the lack of sleep finally caught up to me. And in other personal news, my goal of getting better grades in school this quarter are not doing so hot right now. Oh well. Lots of catch up work for me this weekend. After Doctor Who though. And first this loveliness, which I was lucky to find earlier:

Please. Be more perfect John Barrowman, I dare you. <3 this man. There may or may not be a John Barrowman spamming post soon.

And now for The Impossible Astronaut!

My thoughts and feelings! Warning for lots of love and flailing, and spoilers for the ep onviously.Collapse )

(no subject)
centurion rory
Real life and school have really been kicking my butt lately. It's the end of the year, and I'm so exhausted from everything and I just want to take it easy. Unfortunately, all the tests and projects are pouring on, and AP and IB tests are just around the corner. I just need a break. And although it was a wonderful time, Spring Break was not at all relaxing. The weather has been nice though, so that's one good thing keeping me happy.

My school does this thing called Formals for Five before homecoming and prom where people donate old dresses and you can buy them for $5 and shoes, jewelry, and other accessories for $2. I bought some slightly ridiculous high heels that actually fit amazingly, some cute earrings and a necklace, and a gorgeous hair-clip. I also bought this fabulous dress:

I wouldn't actually wear it for a serious occasion, but I couldn't resist buying it. It's gorgeous and will definitely get some use as a costume for some occasion.
Glee and Game of ThronesCollapse )
I'll have my thoughts about Saturday's Doctor Who (I know, really late) up tomorrow, along with pictures of the cupcakes I made for the occasion :)

Buffy the Vampire Slayer: Season 1
centurion rory
So I started watching Buffy the Vampire Slayer a couple weeks. And guess what? I'm already more than halfway through the second season!!! I haven't watched as much this past week, because real life got more busy, plus I was rewatching some of the first season to write this, but I'm getting back to it now! It's fantastic, and I love it. I love all the strong and interesting female characters, the dialogue is great, and I think it does a good job of balancing a realistic high school experience and some kick ass saving the day action.

My thoughts episode by episode (it's pretty long)Collapse )

(no subject)
centurion rory
(This is actually yesterday, but I typed it up and then fell asleep before posting, and I don't really feel like deleting it or going back and fixing the date stuff)

I was so ready at the beginning of the day to come home and write a post about how pissed off I was at school, people, everything. It started off shitty, and we had to do group work in Social Anthropology, which is always horrid, because I don't really have any friends in that class, and I end up working on my own a lot of the time because everyone has already grouped up. And then French was horrible as usual, but after that, it actually turned out to be a really good day.

I got to hang out with a couple of my friends after school, including one I haven't seen in a few weeks, since she's been having stomach and back problems and is going to be out for the rest of the school year. One of my other friends was there who I dearly love, but who has been really pissing me off lately for a lot of reasons I'm not really going to get into right now. But she was great today, and we really got to just have fun together again, which I've missed.

Tomorrow I'm hanging out with another friend, and we're going into DC and checking out some vegan restaurant. I'm generally a really picky eater, but this place seems super cool, and I'm glad to be spending time with people again.

College stuff is going pretty well. I found out today that I got into JMU, which is nice, even if I'm not really planning on going there. I got wait-listed for UVA, but I don't really want to go there either, so I gave up my spot so someone else can hopefully get in a little sooner. I also finally heard from Warren Wilson College about financial aid, and they're giving me none, so that makes me feel better about never getting down there to check it out, since I definitely can't afford it without scholarship money.

OH! New Doctor Who prequel!
(I don't know if what's in the video counts as spoilers, it's more of a trailer, but hints towards what's to come in the first episode.)

My thoughtsCollapse )


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